मेरो कविता

मेरो कविता शब्दहरुको आमहत्या
काट्छु कुनैलाई, रेट्दिन्छु अनी धकेलिदिन्छु भिरमा
नखोज्नु कसैले किन भनेर
पुगेन भने तिमीहरुलाई शब्द
ल्याउ तल्लोघरे दाइको बाट पैचोमा या
पल्लो गाउँको साहुको मा स्वाभिमान धितो राखेर

उहिले
भरिएका ती गाँउ र बस्तिहरु भएथे
लासैलास
रोकिएथे दसैंतिहार, ल्होसर र इद
बेचिएथ्यो त्यो पाखुरी बिना कुनै मोलमा
लुटिएथे दिदीबहिनीहरु अनी
फैलिएथ्यो त्यो कुहिरो

जान्नेहरु भन्थे बादलमा त चाँदिको घेरो हुन्छ
बादल फुटेर बर्सिन्छ
तर कुहिरो ढाक्यो आकाश
अल्मल्याइदियो सबलाई, अनी फर्किए सबै एक अर्कोतिर

भागेको म त्यो कुहिरोबाट
हिड्दै छु यो एक्लो बाटो मात्र
अर्को शब्दको खोजिमा
अनी पार्न लासको थुप्रो बिच बाटोमा
बनाउने निहुँ एउटा कविता

चोक, गल्ली र सडक
देउराली,भञ्ज्याङ र चौतारा
अनी खेत र खलियान
छोड्नेछैन एउटै बाँकी

मिलोस मेरो मनलाई शान्ती
अनी मिलोस यी हात फैलाउन जानेकाहरुलाई
अर्को मौका शब्दको भिख माग्ने ।

It’s comeback

The autumn has gone and the winter too. I had gone behind the curtain for six month or more. This is not because of the story of Preeti I have posted here ( she had a bad experience with curtain). I have not did anything that I can proudly present here as the outcome of this period. Moreover there is nothing happened with me personally except I am some more days older than the day I quit blogging here.
There is a saying you reap that what you have sowed, here I have not sowed anything. I had not even prepared the field to sow. It’s not fair to expect likes or dislikes for this meager effort.Now I promise, I will do do something better and regular that make me happy and you too.
At last thanks to the Girl in the Bus and my friends for this comeback.
I m launching my personal website soon and this blog will be a part of that site. Hoping your view, review and comments.

Girl In The Bus

Last Monday I was on the way to my brother’s apartment. It was about 7 p.m. I was hanging on public bus. The public buses of Kathmandu are too much crowded and if you got a place to put your foot inside, it’s enough. And it is more worse at the office time. I was with a bulky bag with my notebook in, so it’s bothering me more.The Khalasi was ordering to keep face toward one row of seat. I was able to manage to turn and keep me on the right side.
I had to catch the bar above with one hand and with another hand balance the bag. Along the path I was pushed back more and more. After two or more station it was almost full and I was near a side of a girl.She watched me curiously at my face first and then asked for help. Who dare to refuse the help of girl? I accepted and while giving bag to her took out my ID card. The ID card made her more astonished. She used look at me and then to my card. I just smiled and nodded. She got left the bus on next stop waved “bye” and had gone.

Next day i have to return to the hostel, the bus was not much crowded. I got seat and started to browsing internet with U-SIM. On the next stop, the same girl boarded on the bus and took the seat next to me in opposite side. She was searching a topic to talk with me. Meanwhile I opened this blog page and she yelled “Oh! I read this blog. Who? Is this you who blogging with name Samyojan.” “Yes,I am ” I said coldly,because I had not uploaded any new article for about a month. She said one of her friend suggested it.She asked for if I have uploaded any new. I get ashamed and promised to upload soon, and left her .
It’s almost three days after I am going to upload this article .Sorry Amita, I cannot do anything for three days so I have placed the account of incident.
Thanks for all my viewer for their support and comments.

Feeling Lonely

We hear many people are attempting suicide nowdays. The most stories behind this proceed like that
I was a good student in my high-school, I secured good in entrance test too. I had girlfriend/boyfriend in college, after 2 year we broke up.Now there is nothing left for me, I am alone. Nobody care for me then why should I live in this wicked world.

My parents loves my brother/sister more than me. Even my parents doesn’t care me then who on this earth will come for me. I won’t be anymore the load for earth, I have a far better place over there.Getting involving in relation is also a powerful solution of loneliness,when having a loving partner is that each single aspect of your life is shared with this partner so the feeling of loneliness disappears. The draw back to this is that you cannot control the time it happens as there are lots of other variables involved, however its pretty beneficial to know what exactly makes someone fall in love so that you can use this information to your side. Involving in some kind of project helps to overcome loneliness.Going to different places, changing daily routine meeting new people also are way of removing feeling of loneliness.

Feeling lonely or loneliness is the most harder feeling we experience.It seems to affect people of any race, any age, regardless of religion, ethnicity, experience. Whether you are Ph.D. or illiterate, rich or poor you are equally vulnerable to it. Loneliness is a very powerful emotion. It can lead to depression, illness, even suicide. Although it may often hit the old, sick or handicapped people, it is very common among young people too. We may have lots of friends or know lots of people but still feel that we are isolated, alone and nobody is for us.

The main cause of loneliness is lack of intimacy.We may know lots of people and we may have lots of friends but most of the relations are superficial.So going to deep and sharing inner emotions is not possible to those.
A lack of confidence in yourself can repel you from social life. It can leave you reluctant to meet new people made you worried about how they’ll react.
In many country modern culture emphasize the individual person that put the pressure to be a “self contained”. Many more young people live alone away from family and friends and the force compelling to survive may not provide enough time for making friend and intimacy. The TV, films, books made the sexual or romantic relation is the only meaningful relation, which is not need to be true but we believe on it. If we donot have such relation we feel it as our failure.
Surprisingly, it is not only the quiet, shy, people, who may feel loneliness.The extrovert one can also suffer from loneliness. They may seem to have lots of friends, but inside they are hurting.

There are some positive points of loneliness too.The strongest trees are those that grow alone. The greatest dreams are those conceived alone. God can speak to you only when you are alone. Your purpose and life’s meaning will be revealed to you only when you are alone.

To overcome loneliness we have to determine the reason or source of why you are feeling lonely. Bearing emotional honesty and trying to be more open with your friends, telling them about your fears and worries instead of running the usual superficial conversations help to get rid of it some more.

The Curtain

It’s Asar again and the monsoon is yet to come. The days are quite boring when rain does not occur and the burning Sun outside made sweating.I almost got baked in my room and pulled curtain of right side window, hoping cool breeze of air come and blow my sweat. Rather a breeze of nostalgia came.
I can see the house just opposite to mine and I remember this is the house where Raju used to live with his parents. It date back 5 year when I was in high-school. Yes, it was one hot afternoon of mid Asar(the monsoon month according to Nepali calender). Raju and me was friend from my childhood, actually I don’t know when and how I met him. I had not met him for 3 or more days because of the marriage ceremony of my brother. That made me miss him and decided to visit him.
As usual opened the door of my room.crossed the corridor,climbed down the ladder, opened the door, passed the lawn, pulled the gate. I was in road then rang his door bell, Raju came and welcomed me.I met his mum right on the balcony and greeted her and said “Oh Priti Chhori kahile aayau?”( Oh Priti daughter when you came?) And asked how my mum is. Then we left her and led me to his room.
We were in his room, just chatting, he threw pillow to me and why not I made him the same reply? I did the same. But he did not replied after three or four shot,it made me angry.”Raju, we are playing the game please reply back” I said. He pretend as he did not listened. I went to him and started pulling the pillow then what happened is the most dreadful moment I that i can not forget.He came more closer to me, acted as if he was fighting for pillow, held me tightly and …
..and….
….and……..
..kissed me forcefully.
I was shocked so much that I cannot help myself thinking what should I do involuntarily I just pushed him and escaped.

The whole day and I spent with unknown fear, even in my dream I was in a open field, there were many people with sword chasing and I was running like a turkey.
Next morning woke up at six then pulled curtain slowly,I saw him smiling….
After some months he passed away of myocardial infarction.
I had not opened this window for so long time but how could I resist this summer.

गजल

मोहनी त्यो रुप तिम्रो लठ्ठ्याउने जहर लाग्यो
यत्रतत्र सर्बत्र नै तिमिलाइ देख्ने रहर लाग्यो

हलचल भो मनभित्र छाल आए किनारसम्मै
कल्पनाको ऐना भरि सपनाको लहर लाग्यो

भावनाको बादलबाट सम्झनाको बर्षा हुँदा
पानी जस्तै म बहेछु तर तिमी नहर लाग्यो

शुन्यतामा हराउँदा तिम्रो याद भयो साथी
बिरानो यो ठाउँ पनि अब आफ्नै शहर लाग्यो

सकिन लौ बिर्सिएर बाँच्न एकपल मात्र पनि
तिमिसित बिताउन मन एक प्रहर लाग्यो

मोहनी त्यो रुप तिम्रो लठ्ठ्याउने जहर लाग्यो
यत्रतत्र सर्बत्र नै तिमिलाइ देख्ने रहर लाग्यो

जिवन र जगत

आज खै किन मेरो मनमा यो topic आयो । साच्चै मानव जीवन के होला त न म जवाफ दिन सक्छु न न महान दार्शनिक हरु नै । darwinism तथा विज्ञान भन्छ यो क्रमिक बिकास बाट बनेको हो। धर्मग्रन्थ हरुका पनि आ-आफ्नै व्याख्यान छन।

गीता भन्छ म मेरो जन्म भन्दा पहिले कही पनि थियिन अनी मेरो मृत्यु पछी पनि मेरो कुनै अस्तिस्व यो धर्तिमा छैन। तर त्यही नै फेरी भनिएको छ कि मानव जीवन त आत्मा को प्रसारण को माध्यम मात्र हो। अर्थात आत्मा सबैथोक हो जिबको शरीर त उसको निमित्त मात्र हो। यो आत्मा अबिनाशी छ जस्तै

ए एन वेत्ती हन्तारम एस्चैन मन्यते हतम
उभोतोउन विजानितो नायाम् हन्ती न हन्यते ।

उसो भये हामी के एउटा चक्रको निरन्तरता मात्रा वा अरु केही ?? यो यक्ष प्रश्न छ ।
गीतामै कृष्ण अर्जुन लाई भन्छन

कर्मन्यावाधिकारेषु मा फलेषु कदाचन
मा कर्मफल हेतुर्भुर्मा ते सङोत्स्वकर्मणी ।

अर्थात फल को आस नराखी काम गर्नु पर्छ तर आजको विश्व परिवेशमा यो सम्भव होला र? के तपाईं ,म अनी हामी केही फल पाउने आस नराखी कुनै काम गर्न सकिएला त?

वैदिक दार्शनिक चार्वाक भन्छन
यावत् जिवेत सुखम् जिवेत ऋणम क्रित्व घ्रितम् पिवेत्

अब darwinism को कुरा , जे भएपनी विज्ञानमा आधारित र त्यतिका वर्ष को खोज बाट निस्केको हो त है त्यो पनि । हो मानिस पनि बिकास क्रमकै एउटा उपज हो । यसका विभिन्न प्रमाणहरु पनि उपलब्ध छन। बाँकी रह्यो कुरा कसरी भयो होला त यत्रो परिवर्तन हामीलाई थाहा छदैछ पृथ्वी को उत्पत्ती भएको पनि धेरै वर्ष बितिसक्यो । कतैकतै यो क्रमिक बिकास र हिन्दू वैदिक साहित्यको अवतार को बिचमा कुनै सम्बन्ध त जोड्न सकिदैन भन्ने पनि कुरा छ तपाईंलाई कस्तो लाग्छ यो evolution र मस्त्य ,कुर्म, बाराह नर्सिन्ह हुँदै राम ,क्रिश्न बनेको उस्तै उस्तै हो हात्ती र हात्तीछाप चप्पल जस्तै । साच्चै नै क्रमिक बिकास हुने भये अब मान्छे पछी के हुने? अनी dianosaur हरु हराएर गए मान्छे हराउन्छ कि हराउदैन?

अन्तमा हाम्रो सृष्टिको कुरालाई अनुत्तरित छाडदै एउटा कुरा लेख्न मन लाग्यो जसरी आए पनि जसरी गए पनि बिचको यो जीवन रमेर जिउ आफ्नै लागि होइन त !!!

त्यही त बचुन्जेल सुखसँग बांच मरेपछि के हो के हो? आज हामीलाई सुहाउने त यो पो होला है ।
अब darwinism को कुरा , जे भएपनी विज्ञानमा आधारित र त्यतिका वर्ष को खोज बाट निस्केको हो त है त्यो पनि ।

नेपाल

वनको बाघले खाओस नखाओस मनको बाघले खाएछ
फरक हुन्थ्यो किन जुन जोगी पनि कानै चिरेको आएछ

नाच्न नजान्दा आङन टेढो देख्नेहरु मात्र छन सबैतिर
लौ न सिङ नभएको गोरुले नै नाम तिखे पाएछ

अगुल्टाले हानेको कुकुर झै तर्सिन्छन बिजुली चम्किदा
तर जान्नेले श्रिखन्ड नजान्नेले खुर्पाको बिड बनाएछ

आफ्नो आङ्को भैंसी नदेखी आरुको मा जुम्रा खोज्नाले
सुन्दर शान्त हाम्रो नेपाल बादरको हातमा नरिबल भएछ

Trip to Sindhuli

It was just after the 2nd yrs final exam.We, the three Sarvesh ,me and Umesh were thinking about something to do new. We have a list of works that we supposed to continue in coming semester. But it the last day of exam and it made us so much hang that Sarvesh used to say it as “monkey hang”.

So its decided to go somewhere for just as a “rhino mad trip”(mean it’s just go ahead trip without definite destination). Some days ago I have seen  the photos of newly constructed BP highway joining Kathmandu and Eastern Terai through Sindhuli. Planning donot need any more time we three and recently joined ShreeRam have made the conclusion to leave hostel at 6:30 tomorrow to catch the bus for Dhulikhel from where BP highway starts. Two more friends joined to our team when we were going to leave.

It was started at almost 7:00 AM and we catch a bus from Maitighar. We caught in a strike near Kaushaltar where we spent almost one hour.

We were in the last seat of public bus and there were some student of another university too. Listening their Nepaglish one of our group member said ” you know today I might be with them and you five people here.””So what a big issue there?” I asked. He added ” you would feel inferiority what I’m experiencing.” It made us to laugh for the whole strike time. After escaping from there our next stop was Banepa, stopped for breakfast.
The main part of trip started from Banepa where we got on hood of a crowded bus. It was also packed in 5 minutes.
BP highway is a hilly road with lots of twists and turns. Somewhere it goes up and down, runs inside the valley and travel back to high ridges.At first we thought just to go to BHakundebesi because it is the only place we heard in that route. It was about 11:00 there and we decided to go further ahead which led us to Sindhuli unexpectedly.
Road follows the bank of Roshi Khola after Bhakundebesi.
The highway was build considering every aspects to be environment friendly and stable but the main problem is it is single lane. Since it is proposed as alternative way to Terai, this point should be taken into consideration by the concerned.

It is blacktopped upto the Kavre district and partially blacktopped to the Nepalthok which lies in Sindhuli district. To preserve road from river cutting and soil erosion various preventive measures have been taken. I saw such large deposit first time there. Sarvesh and other lost hope at first but we finally crossed all boulders and sand to touch finally the cold water of Sunkoshi.The solemn flow of water amused me .

Now the photos taken about the road and in field made me feel the same when i was there. The serpentine road, green field and hills starting from Roshi and risen above penetrating blue sky,all looking gray are the most conspicous figure I remember.

The last shot was sunset from near Dhulikhel while we were returning . Posted without removing motion blur makes sense we were on top of bus.

aLL aBOUT mE

This all is  about me . I was eager to do so many things at a time and rarely masters in one field. Sometimes it made me laugh at myself. But it’s my characteristics how cani abolish this? hehehe..you know some one year ago i was summoned with the C++ programming.. actually it is not belong to my course.And you know why i tried to laern this stuff , reason simple…at that time sudoku really troubled me.. (i m not master in sudoku yet). I saw a programme solving sudoku in a magazine and i have to compile and solve the sudoku.Then I went to a institute in Jawalkhel with friends to learn C++ for 2 or 3 days but it disgusted me for all three day he said how to write “hello world”. This was how the C++ chapter closed. After all this I just typed what was printed on that magazine and luckily the program run.

I was fascinated by the cool applets created by JAVA and new whim rode on me. Learning JAVA.This time  i m lucky i donot need to go for any class but the first syntax to display “hello world”(it is the classic example of basic of any computer language,as i saw ) did all and i didn’t see any hope for me there coz’ it’s so long but not so long as compared to south indian name.

And i have experiences with HTML editor and PHP too..but will share next time.

Then came Linux.Yea , didn’t hanged me so much but my PC.I used try this and that distro from linux mint to fedora and ubuntu to debian. i have tried their beta and every new release. I tried parallely opensolaris and react os too. I got some knowledge of them too and now I almost abandoned them too.

Actually i m going to say that this blog may or may not be continued so please view it and post your reviews..

have nice blogging.